Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Ever wonder how the earth operates?

The earth is old. Well, older than anyone in my family at least.

Maybe some of these natural disasters are just the earth's way of dealing with 'aging' issues?

Let's look at this for a sec.

Earthquakes. Maybe that's how the planet deals with an itch. Most of the earthquakes happen around the pacific rim. There are a LOT of people in that area, maybe they're the fleas and the 'ol dog needs to scratch?

Tsunamis. An itch and a bath.

Hurricanes. When you're tired, you throw some water on your face to freshen up. All that throwing brings a bit of wind with it.

Hail storm and blizzards. Obviously psoriasis related.

Volcanoes. Like any old person going through a 'change' there may be the odd pimple. Must have something to do with being "too hot".

Heat-waves. see above.

Tornados. Like any old person, there's a lot of extra 'wind'. AND you know what part of the body all that extra wind comes from. Hmmm. Most of the tornados are in the southern US. I wonder if there's any relation... You'd think that the 'center of the universe' (Toronto) would be closer to the function of this area?

Friday, August 12, 2005

Life in Calgary

(based on something Erni said)

Life in Calgary is good. As far as 'big cities' go, it's a pretty darn good place to call home.

We've got a football team (red, not green). We've got access to the mountains if we want to go play on skis or on bikes. We've got a couple of hockey teams, a junior one and one that's almost as good as the Oilers (heh heh)

And we've got weather. Sigh. man, do we have weather.

This year, we received 60% of our annual precipitation in June. Flooding was pretty amazing in Calgary (see photo left) and in High River (see photo below).

(send an email to me at and I'll send you the powerpoint slide shows of each).

I think that the weather here is the one thing that really makes this city entertaining. I've been here when the temp hits +20 in December and February. Always makes a picture in the paper when some fool is out golfing that time of year (luckily they haven't caught me at it yet!). I've seen snow in July (10th, 1999, at Stampede. Luckily my buddy Laurie and I were fairly 'lubricated' and didn't notice so much.)

Just after I moved into the Hamptons, there was a rainstorm that was so big (how big was it?) that the water hit the fence across from my yard where the land development was taking place and it hit the fence in a wave and went over the fence. Man, I wish I had a picture of that. It was cool.

Then there's the hail storms. Sure a bit of hail in the summer is normal. BUT, if you have to get out a snow shovel to move it, I think it's a bit excessive.

Still, it's better weather than Saskatchewan. Why I remember going to school, uphill, in a snowstorm....blah blah blah.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

nothing cleanses the soul like a good rant...

\rant on.

This is a bit of a sensitive issue, and if anyone ever reads this, I'm sure you'll have a thought on it.

It's frustrating being a single guy. Especially if your not cute and dumb. and I excel in THAT regard. Both of them. OK. I'm not Shrek ugly, but still. I'm no Werner Von Braun either (well, maybe a bit of a Werner Klamperer).

The world is a funny place.

How the hell did we get in this situation where women are not in control (or so they claim). I mean. If you're not cute and dumb you really have an uphill battle in the 'woo'ing department.

You'd think that with THAT sort of control, the gals would have more positions of power. Mind you, we guys would be relaged to 'breeding stock'. Wasn't there a Tony Franciosa movie about that? hmm. Anyhow.

Maybe I need to stop trying to deal with smart gals who have things to say and deal with dumber ones.

Speaking of which, I was talking about this with a former friend who I don't care if I ever talk to again. She said, "you're 40 and never been married? There must be something wrong with you." No. there isn't. Less so, now that I don't deal with her.

bah. I'm just frustrated.

I'll delete this in a few days, I'm sure.

\rant off

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